


At the studio

by Vinushuka



Series: Life inside and outside Dir en grey [4]
Category: Dir en grey, Sukekiyo (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:50:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6985876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sukekiyo is working at the studio to create new songs for their first public performances. Kyo does his best to concentrate in the tasks at hand but memories of Toshiya torment him all day. It's so obvious who or what to blame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the studio

“I can do this! I will do this!” Kyo convinced to himself when he hurried to his walk-in closet to dress for the day. It was August and again very hot so he selected a short sleeved white T-shirt, loose trousers and a long sleeved light shirt to cover his tattooed his arms. He didn’t want to draw attention when he moved out in the public. Sunglasses would conveniently cover his swollen eyes and hide his identity.

      When he stepped out to the street the hot air almost suffocated him after the coolness of his apartment. He felt sorry for the men hurrying to their businesses in their black suits, white shirts and ties. The formal dress code was one of the most idiotic things in Japan making the life a living hell especially during the summer months. Kyo was his own master so he didn’t have to care about dress codes or any other stupid rules. In fact at the moment he didn’t care about anything or anybody except Sukekiyo, or so he thought.

      The adrenaline rush caused by being late and hurrying to the  studio had kept Kyo going and the painful memories of last night at bay but when sat on the subway train his mind slipped and brought back memories he didn’t want to go back to.  He tried to focus all his attention to today’s task list, but over and over again he kept seeing this image of Kaoru and Toshiya sleeping on Kaoru’s bed in a tight embrace looking happy and contended.

      Kyo still wondered what made him sneak to Kaoru’s sleeping compartment on the tour bus in the middle of the night when he knew very well that Toshiya was there. He just couldn’t stay away although he was bound to get hurt. Inflicting pain on himself had been Kyo’s specialty for a long time but that night jealousy turned out to be far more potent than physical pain. The sight of sleeping Kaoru and Toshiya ripped his heart apart because he knew that he had caused this to happen. He had driven Toshiya back to Kaoru’s arms by being a selfish and uncaring lover. Now it was too late to do anything…

      When Kyo finally turned up at the studio the band was busy working with the melodies for Sukekiyo’s first performances. Kyo was happy that most of the band members had contributed to this work. Uta, Takumi and Yuchi had written several songs and even Kyo himself one. Takumi had taken the lead of the studio work, which was pretty much natural at this stage. He was in many respects like Kaoru, a technically skilled musician and a competent leader. Kyo was the one with a vision, the artistic director of the band. He wanted to create something unique, a sound that no one else had and a stage performance combining various art forms with music. He wanted to express himself not only through his lyrics and singing but with everything happening on stage. Sukekiyo would be an experience rather than a band.

      Kyo happened to arrive in the middle of a heated discussion between Uta and Takumi concerning the structure of a song. Yuchi wasn’t participating in that. He was studying his bass lines and selecting suitable instruments for the purpose.

“Hi Kyo! Glad you made it”, Yuchi welcomed Kyo in his straightforward manner. Kyo liked his can-do attitude and positive energy. Being positive wasn’t one of Kyo’s strong sides.

“Yeah, sorry for being late. How far have you proceeded with our song list?” Kyo asked skipping all unnecessary chitchat. He didn’t want to talk about his private matters with anyone.

“We have gone through the first three songs and pretty much agreed how they should sound. The fourth one seems to cause problems to our guitarists”, Yuchi replied nodding at Uta and Takumi sunken deep in their discussion.

      Kyo listened a while to their argument and decided then to interfere. “Hi guys. Is there something I can help you with?” he asked and sat down to listen to their account of the problem.  Also Yuchi joined the team and together they managed to find a solution that was satisfactory to everybody. Luckily the remaining twelve songs were a bit easier. They didn’t have the luxury to waste their time in petty arguments when they had sixteen new songs to create and rehearse before the end of the year. Kyo’s schedules were absolutely critical: Japan tour with Dir en grey from middle of September to end of October and US/Canada tour in November.

      Kyo had written the lyrics for the songs and wanted to test how they worked with the music. The band spent the remaining time to go through the songs one by one and tweaking either the words or the music to make them work together. They had reserved three days for the whole song writing process and were satisfied with their progress on day one.

      Kyo was tired and hungry when they finished at seven in the evening. They had grabbed some lunch during the day but otherwise they had worked without interruptions all day. “Would you like to join me for a dinner?” Kyo asked from Uta who happened to leave the building at the same time. Uta was a quiet and slightly reserved guy who expressed himself better with his guitar playing than with talking. Kyo felt strange sympathy with him and wanted to know him better. It was Uta who had composed Kugui, which was one of Kyo’s favorite songs in today’s session. Kyo had written the lyrics for it on the train this morning joining his longing for Toshiya to this hauntingly beautiful melody. His plea at the end was heart wrenching: “Don’t let go of our touching fingers, though I’m still weak and fragile”.

“I’m sorry but I will have to hurry home. I will have a guest arriving tonight”, Uta apologized looking genuinely sorry. “My little brother is coming to visit me and spends couple of days here in Tokyo.”

“No problem. You must show him around town tomorrow”, Kyo replied feeling a little disappointed. Dining alone wasn’t his favourite thing but he was hungry as a wolf so that would have to do.

      When Kyo finally was at home he decided to take a hot bath and retire early. He would make his exercises tomorrow morning when his body would be back to normal. The shock of Toshiya’s leaving had affected him both mentally and physically. He felt tired and weak. But sitting alone in his bathtub made him remember things he didn’t want to recall. It was heavenly to scrub Toshiya’s body from head to toe, dry him with a soft towel and lead him to the bedroom where Kyo would fuck him for the first time. Nothing in his previous life compared with those happy moments.

       The memories were so disturbing that Kyo climbed out of the bath and began to scrub his well-trimmed body dry. He stared with anger his manhood that was demanding his attention. “You bitch!” he hissed and started to jerk himself off in front of the mirror. He did that with an intensity that was very close to causing pain and finally shot his sperm on the table top and the mirror. “I hate you”, he whimpered as he leaned against the table top hot tears flowing down his cheeks. “This is all your fault”. 


End file.
